Scott's Wedding

Scott and Amanda got married on Saturday. It was a beautiful wedding at St. Lukes Lutheran Church. I will try to post a pic.

Hi All -- here is a picture of the Silver Globe we got as a memoriam for Tom. It actually is silver -- tried to take pics on a cold, rainy day inside -- didn't work out too well. Marcia found a really great base for the globe. Carvings of gardening tools, flowers, etc. Sits on my kitchen counter.

Max and I are doing pretty well, considering all that has happened this year. Don't know what I would do without him. He is a presence in the house and he makes me laugh -- when I'm not threatening to make dog stew out of him for something he did.

Spent two weeks in Seattle with May. It was really had to leave that place. May is so much fun and Seattle is so great. But it is quite a culture shock for someone living in BFE (Marietta). Spent most of my time going to yard sales, of which there are hundreds of them in that city. Have decided to live in Seattle during the spring and summer and then come home and eBay all the stuff I buy all winter. Sounds like a plan to me.

Hope everyone is doing okay. Let's have some posts on this blog, so I can see you folks and know what is happening.

Love to all,

Arlene

What a great visit we all had in Ohio. Stressful, exhausting, but nontheless wonderful. The whole hospice thing is the way to go; I loved being able to spend dad's last weeks with him and share the time w/ the whole family, knowing dad was right there with us.

Grace and I had a good trip back. We found the most awesome zoo in the middle of nowhere in Kansas and that was probably the highlight of the trip; she had never been to a zoo before.

We got home last Sunday and I have spent the entire week in a lazy funk, unable to do anything but lay on the bed/couch/floor and veg. I managed to spend some time w/ all my babies, but I didn't even have enough energy to do that for long. Temps of 111 every day don't help much either. BTW, I did break up w/ Dan the day I got back. We are going to try to maintain a relationship and I really hope we can. He is so very sweet, just not the love of my life anymore.

I have 2 more weeks before I go back to work and am looking forward to the challenge of my new position as the counselor at 2 alternative ed sites instead of just one.

Mom, hang in there. I'm glad Colton was able to help a little longer. He is a good boy.

Love, Marcia

It was so good to have all the brothers and sisters here to support Tom. Especially glad that you all had a chance to say goodbye and still attend the funeral. I was worried about where his grave would be, since you have to take the next one available and can't pick out the place. Couldn't have been better -- right by Uncle Wilbur's and next to Cousin Mae's garden!! He would have loved that.

Marcia and Grace went on home in the motor home and left Colton with me. It has been a blessing to have him here. And they are having a ball taking their time going home. I am in a stage of complete denial about everything. I guess my mind couldn't cope with Tom and Eric both, so it just shut down. Probably when Colton leaves all hell will break loose.

Love to you all.

Tom is home now -- he is very glad to be out of the hospital -- and I am sure all the nurses are too. His middle name should be "impatient". They are sending out a home nurse to make sure I am feeding him correctly through the G-tube. He was able to drink half of his Insure last night, but took him so long, I had to give him his next feeding through the tube. He is pretty weak. Needs to get his strength back. So all is well on the home front!!

Things went really well today -- much better than expected. Tom came through his surgery in excellent condition. He can even swallow a little water, which he hasn't been able to do. And he can talk better than he has in weeks. He looks really good and is in a good frame of mind. He has not been able to take his thyroid medicine for two weeks, and the doctor thought that might be what is causing his weakness. I don't know about his pain level, since I am not adminstering the meds right now. They kept him in the hospital tonight to see how he tolerates the G-tube feeding. So far it is doing really good.

To our Morgie Pie -- thank you for the offer, honey. We love you. I know you would do just as good a job as Eric would have. If I get to the point where I really need someone, I will surely let you know. So far, things are doable and I am hanging in there.

Will keep everyone posted on here.

More news -- and not too good. Tom's throat was closed up, but not from swelling. His prosthesis was all right, and did not need changing. Had it changed anyway and there was no improvement in his swallowing and not much improvement in his speech. So we assume that the tumor is growing and closing his throat.

Dr. Krause, the ENT, wanted to do another esophagus stretching -- although none of us think it will do any good. He is scheduled for that Monday, the 1st. At the same time, another surgeon will be putting in a G-tube (stomach feeding tube). I called Dr. Cawley and told her he was too weak to stand any kind of a procedure. He can barely get out of his chair to go to the bathroom. She insisted he needed it done, especially the G-tube. So she is admitting him tonight (Sunday, the 30th) in order to build him up a little before the surgery.

I have him on a four-times-a-day feeding schedule with the Ensure. Each feeding, he also gets the Vicodin. The last feeding is at 7:00 p.m. He also gets more Vicodin at 11:00 p.m. and the alarm is set so I can give him more pain medicine at 3:00 a.m. Then he eats and has his meds again at 7:00 a.m.

I told Dr. Cawley that his pain seems to be getting worse exponentially. She said that is what happens. And then she starts talking about Hospice Care. Oh, shit, I surely wasn't thinking about that yet. It was only a few weeks ago that we got such a good report, and that the cancer had slowed down by half. I guess we had all gotten complacent and really forgotten that this was going to happen -- at least had buried it in the far reaches of our mind.

Someone in California will need to help me get this to all the sisters and brother. I am in no shape to call every one of them. Sorry to have to do it this way. Anyone feel free to call me whenever. My cell number is 740-236-3121. I will be at the hospital all day tomorrow, but it should be a same-day release thing unless he is in worse shape than even I know. Will need to get him down to Camden-Clark, where the surgery is, by 7:00 p.m. this evening.

I know I don't need to ask -- but all please pray for him.

It takes a village to raise a child, and it take
a whole family to get Ensure down Tom's
feeding tube. He had his esophagus
dilated on Monday, since he could hardly swallow any food. Since then, he couldn't swallow anything, just liquid -- and maybe just an ounce or so of that.

So we had a nasal feeding tube put in him Friday so he wouldn't dehydrate and starve to death. Plus he couldn't take his liquid Vicodin. What a contraption. I had to call Miriam and Bob to come help me because I couldn't figure out how to work it.

While I went to do a wedding rehearsal, Miriam figured out the syringe thingamabobby and then it took two people and all their muscles (as you can see by Bob's face) to get the Ensure down the tube.

Tom is doing just fine, but I guess the swelling in his throat was not letting anything down, plus his prosthesis needs to be changed.

Other than that, Mrs.Lincoln, how was the play!!!!

pics!

out of time, Bryan needs the computor. I had all the pics downloaded hit publish post, and none of the pics show, what the hell...I ate being old!

Easter Photos and Cali update

Hey guys, long time no post! I do have the pics from Easter, now if I can remember how to post them! We had a great weekend, always enjoy seeing Marcia and the kids, and she is right we loved Dan and his family, fit right in...good people. We just took Bryan up to visit UC Davis last weekend, he loved it and we are making plans for him to go, next summer. Hannah's choir kicked butt in NY, winning the whole competition. She just landed a role in the community theatre's summer play, so rehearsals start next week...it nevers ends! Love and kisses to you all!

Housewarming party for Megan. Thanks to the GI Bill, Megan was able to buy a neat condo. Had a housewarming for her last Sunday. She has done a great job of decorating (with the help of David, her latest SO). Has a finished basement, which she will probably make into her massage room. This was a good time to buy, with housing costs so low and she got a first-time home buyer tax break also.

Just wanted to let everyone know about Tom's PET scan. Cancer activity is down from a 10 to a 5. He had 8 small tumors and 1 large one. Now his large one is half as big and the other 8 are gone entirely. There is no sign of any cancer in any other part of his body. As Eric used to say, his dad is a "freak of nature." He will probably outlive all of us. Isn't this just awesome!! Now he can go get a job!!!!!

Hello from California, we are all good, just enjoyed a visit from Missy and James, glad he is home safe fro Afganastan. Hannah is busier than we can keep up with, loving choir just finised Peter Pan, she was an ADD lost boy! Bryan trying to get in shape for the Marines, looks like it's the path he wants to pursue for becoming a lawyer, they provide the most amount of financial support, to the tune of paying for the rest of his BA and law school, watch out Meghan he will out rank you...says he can't enven think about joining if he doesn't out rank my dad, no way he is showing up in heaven without a salute from his Papaw! That will be priceless...looks like he may go into officers bootcamp this summer, maybe next...he is trying to get in shape! Jim just lost a good sized contract with adult education due to the financial mess California is in, pray they reinstate it in July. I'm working one more week as a counselor for him (he's had a counselor out on maturnity leave since January). Next week we are going to Palm Springs for the mens and womens tennis finals in the indian wells tennis tournament...looking forward to a weekend away, between college kids popping by and High schoolers hanging out our house is pretty non stop busy! Just thought an update might stimulate some exchange! Love you all!

Memorial Service

We had a memorial service for Eric yesterday. It was awesome. Scott is the Choir Director at St. Luke's Lutheran Church, so between him and Pastor Steve and Tom and I and Missy and Mindy and Lauren, we figured out a rough draft of what we wanted. Turned out even better than I had hoped. Lauren did an 11x17 picture of Eric to put up. Mindy found a burgandy suede box that she had bought a long time ago at one of Helen's yard sales that the box of his ashes fit in perfectly. Megan and Missy had a brass plaque put on it with his name and all. Megan (Mindy helped) got the flowers -- one hanging wreath and one small swag -- to match the box. Missy put his sunglasses (never without them) and one of his ball caps on the stand also. What a wonderful display.

I wrote the eulogy for Scott to read and he changed it around into his own words and that boy is fantastic -- then he went right into Amazing Grace a capella, that put everyone in tears. He and Kim (Rhett's wife) sang Dwelling in Buelah Land, then Kim also sang a solo "Wish You Were Here." Same song she sang at Shelley's funeral.

Bobby Bangert videotaped the whole thing. Haven't seen it yet. He is going to transfer it to DVD's and I will be sending one to Aunt Janie, since she was the closest to Eric, and you all can see it.

We had coffee in the Meeting Room after the service and showed the slide show that Marcia and Colton had put together. What a job. I guess it was worth sending Marcia to Cal Poly to study computer science (and find a husband). I had Bob put that on the video also, so you will see a copy of that. Although Marcia is going to put it on the blog .

We closed the service with everyone singing "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms."

I was probably the only one that didn't cry at all during the entire thing. I had Lauren put a bunch of eyeliner on me, so I didn't dare. I was also full of Effexor, Xanax, and levaquin and xythromyacin for my sinus infection --so I was so doped up, it wasn't that hard on me. I just enjoyed the wonderful ceremony. I'm sure I will pay for that in the days to come.

Will be sending Tom's sisters and brothers a copy of the program, which has his obit on the front inside cover.

Back to real life now, and hope Tom and I and all can cope with this.

Eric

As most of you know by now, we lost Eric two weeks ago. His death is very sad and tragic, and not something we want to focus on. Let's look at the life he had, and remember him as he was, not how he ended up. I will be posting a slide show tribute to his life later this week. If anyone has any pics they want included, just e-mail them to me ASAP. marciaramstrom@yahoo.com

Tyler and his friends Easton and Joseph

Hey guys. I thought you might enjoy this. It's a picture of Tyler taken last week after his British Lit class. I can't believe how grown up he's getting. He loves music of all kinds, especially guitar although Steve dug his old drum set out of storage and set that up and Tyler's doing great with that too. He has great friends and though we continue to home school him, he's taking a couple of classes outside the home including this British Literature Class. I think he looks just like his dad.

The Aliens Have Landed !

Just had to pass this on for everyone's viewing pleasure. Is this not the craziest, far-out mini mart you've ever seen?

Located in Lathrop, Ca, a small town north of Tracy.

OK - We're back!

I love that pic of Grace & Bryan. I don't know who had the most fun w/ Grace this time - Jim, Brenda, Hannah or Brian. She kept them all going for days. What a fun time it was.

We need more babies in this family - come on you younger generation!!

Here's my babies on Christmas morning, in Morgan's new car (the Camry I gave her last winter when I bought my 4WD was totalled on Halloween night when some lady ran a red light).

California update

Okay I posted a comment to Mindy and it's taken me awhile, but I think I've figured out the photo thing again, I just need limitless time to remember and relearn each time! Have a great 2009 everyone! In case you have the same slow mind as me, this is a photo of Bryan playing dolls with Grace at thanksgiving and Hannah put someones glasses on and they said oh look how you look like Mary, but at second glance she really looks like Meghan!